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A Tired and Jaded Girl's Guide to Making a Good Hinge Profile (02/09/2025))

TLDR: I hate hinge. You all suck at making profiles. Do you want to get likes? Be serious, PLEASE. I'm deleting my account soon.

I think everyone can agree that Hinge, much like Tinder and Bumble, is a cesspool full of boring people with (somehow) even more boring profiles. Honestly, my gripe with hinge isnt even that it "tells me to match with ugly people," as people online have bemoaned and hashed out on tiktok and twitter. My gripe is with the overall quality of profiles. Everyone is so boring. I think appearances can be elevated a LOT by a good personality, so why isn't anyone showing theirs off? I also think that most, if not all, photos used by a majority of the users are just bad photos. I've gone on a few dates with people where they have actually looked better in person! So... what gives? I think the photos problem is fixed only by having friends who take good candids of you, so everyone, pick up those cameras. As for the personality aspect, I think hinge is being killed by performative nonchalance. People do not want to seem like they care, because that is cringe, but then they'll complain up and down about getting no matches. Like,... DIVA please try. I think this is most obviously demonstrated by the ai hinge prompt bot i keep seeing ads for. People are so afraid of looking cringe that they refuse to put in the effort to think for themselves. I guess it is sort of loser behaviour to have a carefully curated hinge profile like I've had in the past (i'm retired now lol), but I think it is important, albeit sad, to remember that dating apps are like a marketplace, you wanna sell yourself. What makes you different? What makes you unique? Why should someone consider you a potential romantic prospect?
In order to remedy this, I've decided to grace you all with this masterlist of my dos and donts regarding hinge profiles, since I am decidedly an expert. I guess being a mainstay on hinge for the past like 3 years, as well as a notable serial dater (in hiding currently because I'm tired), is more of a self drag than anything, but it does mean that I've witnessed hundreds, if not thousands, of profiles. Currently, as I am writing, I have like 200 saved likes that I need to go through, since I'm conducting a study... don't worry about it. My interest in collecting data and analysing human behaviour really puts me in situations... its all in good fun!
I've noticed the most issues with cishet male hinge profiles, thus I tend to default to male centric suggestions, however, I do not become annoyed with exclusively men. If you are reading this and want a secondary opinion on your hinge account, please contact my team at lesbiabs223@gmail.com, we'll collab :)

Arguably the most important part of a Hinge profile is the photos. Although I've said above that I think the way to have good photos is to have a friend who takes good candids, I also think that some suggestions are needed regardless.

1. DO NOT do not DO NOT put a group photo as your first photo. If you must turn on smart photos (which I think is a bad idea), DO NOT include one at all. Do not make people guess because they might get it wrong and then that'll be disappointing. Unless you look really really good. I get that you want to prove that you have friends, but a candid or two does that for you, because you can't take those yourself.

2. PLEASE include at least one photo of your entire face. I don't know why this even has to be said. I want to know what you look like. I don't think all photos have to be like a selfie or a very well taken group photo, but if you're looking away from the camera or wearing a mask or anything in every photo... you kinda start to wonder

3. NO FILTERS. Oh god. Oh jesus. Please...

4. If you MUST include photos of your pets, food you've made (why????) or places you've been (why??), only include ONE. 1 of the 6. At MOST.

5. No memes unless they're really funny or topically relevant. If you include a meme, no photos of anything else that isn't you, as per 4.

6. Don't include photos of you with other people's babies? I don't even know why this has to be said. I think it is weird.

7. If you are going to do all selfies, try to take them at a good angle. Try standing in front of a window. Try putting on a really cool outfit or some interesting makeup! It's ok to not have any candids, and to only have selfies, but make sure you try. This is a sales pitch after all.

8. Don't include obviously dated pictures (ie you with a cake that says 24 when your profile says 26).

9. As stated above, I think smart photos is only a good idea if you truly are fine with your photos going in any order, however, I like to alternate serious (cool candids, selfies, posed photos) with silly (fun candids, any non you photos you feel compelled to add for some reason), with all non you photos going at the very end. Lead with your very best, and then go further into the proverbial archive as you go down! I think intentionality goes a long way

10. Finally, this is a small complaint but one I have anyways. Do not wear the same shirt in all your photos. One or two is fine as long as it's clear you took them on different days. There is something so not fabulous about a hinge photoshoot. It hardly gives an idea of who you are as a person….

That wraps up my thoughts on photos for the moment, this may be amended.
Don't worry if you have no "good" photos of yourself. Try to focus more on what a photo tells the viewer. Everyone should be taking more candid photos of their friends and family anyways, try to start that up and you'll have hinge photos in no time! Or befriend some loser(hi losers with camera, I love you! I'm joining you soon) with a digital or film camera. Those photos always look cool.

This is the big category. I have a lot to say about this. I think a good prompt answer can really elevate a hinge profile, and the reverse is also true! You could have fab photos and then the worst personality showcase ever... It's important to really just be authentic. There are so many hinge prompts, so theres a lot of room for creativity and showcasing yourself. Obviously there's nothing wrong with being a little regular, but if you find yourself typing out something you see other people say as their answers, maybe change it up! Here are some tips and tricks for a good hinge prompt. A lot of these were written in a fit of rage lmao whilst filling out my spreadsheet.

1. PLEASE actually answer them. I hate to see a dot instead of an answer or some nonchalant BS like "My biggest fear is: answering a hinge prompt". You do not have to be here. If you hate it so much, delete your account

2. One word answers are basically as bad as no answer. Where is the personality? The flavour? Surely you have more to say about anything!

3. We know when you use the ai hinge bot. You all say the same stuff. "Slightly autistic women", "getting my hoodie back after you've "borrowed" it", "reaching the top shelf". We are not stupid.

4. I have a big gripe with "slightly autistic girls" or "girls on lexapro" or anything similar. I think it's a gross thing to say. Would you say that out loud? If you were asked about your type in person, is that how you'd describe it? Not to be the friend who is too woke, but you just clearly grossly misunderstand and sexualize autism and mental health issues. It works against you.

5. Why does every straight man want to go to Japan. This is such a nothingburger complaint, I think this just goes back to originality. I think travel is important to mention, but maybe say why you want to go, or maybe pick somewhere new?

6. Please actually list your politics and education and full first name. I get not wanting to list your job but like I want to know who you are as a person. OMG. These things matter, and can help contextualize and fully flesh out you as a person. Don't you want people to know how you see the world?

7. Making jokes about how you are toxic, or how you'd be a bad partner, or any sort of self-deprecating jokes. There is NOTHING hot about this. Be confident in yourself, or at least pretend to be.

8. Maybe save explicit subject matter for the proper spaces, or for after you start speaking to a person? Maybe I'm a prude. I'll admit to it. But like... idk. A bit icky imo.

9. The hinge suggestions are sort of right in the sense that you should include something that people can reply to. Liking anime is cool, what is your favourite? Maybe add that, and maybe more people will reply like "oh i love that one too!" idk.

10. Referencing a trending meme or audio for me is a no. "I recently discovered that nothing beats a Jet2 Holiday" ok so you have no personality? I think there are just better ways to show off your sense of humour and personality, but maybe I'm just a jaded hater.

I guess the short of it all is that you have to walk a delicate line between broad and specific, strange and normal...

The bottom line of all of this is that hinge sucks. Self-reflection is important. Good luck out there with your dating attempts! I understand why people are so jaded about hinge, and e-dating in general. I wonder what the next big app, if any, will be. I think there have been some attempts, but I think the rising star might be those initiatives where you meet strangers in person... It feels like a post covid necessity. I am so deeply curious about them. I have met some lovely people off of hinge or tinder, and I think that they can be fun spaces to interact with humans, but omg... I think dating apps really shine if you have a penchant for collecting data or polling people. I used to run a poll on megalodons... fun stuff! Anyways, happy swiping